i hate it when im with you i can never say anything… i can never explain myself to you…you dont know what im feeling during those moments… i feel like im gunna throw up my heart… i feel like an idiot just standing there… if i were you , id hit me… i hate it how i spend nights knowing what im going to say the next time i see you… or when we argue… yet nothing… comes out… my tears let everything out… on the inside im hurting , but you dont know that… because everytime you ask me how im doing or whats with me… i say ” im fine ” or ” nothing ” … nothing will ever get better if i keep this up…and i cant keep doing that… but its been working for the few past months… i shouldnt bottle these things up… i know… but i just dont know how to tell you… you were yelling at me today asking why i cant talk to you like everyone else… i just see you differently… everybody else…is they dont know how i feel… they really dont.. i pass it off with a smile… if you wana know the truth.. yeah i am missing you… but i try not to let it get in the way… i face the hearbreaking truth… if you can go days without talking to me… then so can i… if you dont care then why should i…theres no point of waiting for something that i know will never come… i remind myself of everything you’ve done to me… the pain in a way is my… strength to get me through the day… at the same time it kills me… im hard to understand i know and im sorry i couldnt come with simple instructions… but thats just me..